‘Do you like <i>that</i> ?’ Demonstratives and unclarity in sexual communication

Abstract This paper argues that use of demonstratives is indispensable for effective sexual communication, as demonstratives like ‘this’ and ‘that’ can sidestep complexities around distinguishing and naming acts during sex. However, in light of the baked-in unclarity of demonstratives, advocating for their continued use in sexual contexts yields the uncomfortable result that sexual communication can never be fully explicit. This is a real concern for the study of sexual ethics and consent, and an important starting point for further investigation into linguistic limitations of sexual consent.