Designing Child-Safe Conversational AI: Three Dilemmas for Responsible Design

As AI-driven conversational user interfaces become increasingly integrated into children's daily lives, there is an urgent need for responsible design that protects children's safety, developmental needs, and well-being. While recent guidelines have outlined high-level principles for ethical AI, practical design dilemmas around conversational AI interfaces for children remain underexplored. This paper addresses that gap by identifying and analyzing three recurring tensions in the design of child-safe conversational AI interfaces: (1) safety versus engagement, (2) personalization versus privacy, and (3) autonomy versus protection. The paper argues that these are not binary choices but enduring trade-offs that require situated judgement, developmental sensitivity, and participatory design. It then proposes a framework to help address these dilemmas. By framing enduring design tensions as “dilemmas” rather than quick fixes, this paper seeks to help foster realistic and nuanced dialogue around the ethics of child-centered conversational AI interfaces – and responsible CUI design for children more broadly.