‘Just ask me how I am’. Voicing experiences of mental health difficulties and parenting; the impact of communication and kindness

Objective: What we set out to do<br/>This UK-based participatory project focused on families affected by parental mental health difficulties. We sought to understand lived experience and co-produce recommendations for improved responses to family mental health for those accessing adult mental health and children’s services. <br/><br/>Method: How we did it<br/>We involved six mothers and three young adult children aged 18-25 (not related). Three workshops, two with parents (n=6) and one with young adult children (n=3) focused on having or being a parent with a mental health difficulties and receiving support, and recommendations for improving services. Three experts by experience were supported to become co-authors and share authorship. <br/>Findings: What we found<br/>Themes of Communication, Judgement and kindness, and Parenting were identified from the workshops data, and reflected a wish for service improvements through interpersonal skills, such as communication and kindness. Feeling judged negatively impacts families’ honesty and engagement with services, such as young people using strategies to shorten professional visits when they do not trust practitioners. Experiences of mental health difficulties often occur in combination with multiple health issues for family members. <br/><br/>Discussion: What we think about what we found<br/>Our findings illuminate that services parameters compartmentalize individuals as either patient, parent, carer, or child, rather than engaging with whole family systems where individuals inhabit several of these guises. This paper shows a) how this compartmentalisation causes more stress and b) asking about experience might encourage, or discourage, trust. Findings may be relevant to other patient groups. <br/><br/>Conclusion: Our final thoughts <br/>Demonstrated person-centred communication, kindness, and respect for the primacy of parent-child relationships while avoiding judgement are needed in improving services for families where a parent has mental health difficulties.<br/>