“My wonderful, wrong voice”. A phenomenological study of two trans* individuals (FtM) experiences of singing in Swedish music educational settings

Research on the experiences of trans* individuals in singing within music education globally is limited and can be considered a blind spot in the Scandinavian research field. This article investigates two trans*individuals (FtM) experiences of singing in music educational settings during hormone replacement therapy (HRT), posing the following questions: How are aspects of the singing body experienced by the participants (as possible or not possible to change) in music educational settings? What impact do these experiences have for the choices made by the participants regarding singing in music educational settings? Four respectively six interviews with two participants were performed during 2014-2018, analysed by a phenomenological hermeneutical method of researching lived experience. Results show that experiences of gender and/or your singing voice in music educational settings exemplify how biological and social aspects are intertwined and in flux, both related to the body´s facticity’s and freedom. These intertwinements do not always align with traditional views of how experienced singers should sound or how singing should be organised in music educational settings (such as choir). Consequentially, trans*singers in Swedish music educational settings might experience going through gender affirming treatments as HRT as impossible to “hide”, forcing them to be open with their transition. This could, in a worst case scenario be experienced as discriminatory. Keywords: singing, trans*individuals, hormone replacement therapy, music education, phenomenology