Intimacy reduces withdrawal after conflict in cohabiting couples

Withdrawal, meaning emotional disengagement or the “silent treatment,” compromises couple relationship satisfaction and well-being. In contrast, intimate interactions between partners —characterized by self-disclosure and understanding — promote warmth, mutual knowledge, and satisfaction. The benefits of intimacy may thereby reduce partners’ tendencies to withdraw after a conflict. Both partners in 217 committed, cohabiting couples (434 individuals) completed 14-day diaries reporting whether they had a conflict each day, intimacy in their interactions, and the extent to which either partner withdrew after conflict. Couples who experienced more intimacy, whether on days with conflict or on average during the study, withdrew less after their conflicts. Of intimacy’s two dimensions, understanding was a stronger predictor of reduced withdrawals than self-disclosure. Lastly, couples withdrew more following serious conflict. However, the more intimacy they experienced during the study, the less they withdrew. Particularly, more intimate couples remained less withdrawn even when conflict expanded beyond the initial problem (but not after contemptuous communication). Overall, the findings underscore the benefits of intimate communication in sustaining partners’ emotional availability in the face of conflict by reducing partners’ withdrawals.