“I don’t feel like an activist”: Monstrous Subjectivities and the Racial Elsewheres of Queer and Trans “Activism” in Toronto

Drawing on data collected from my dissertation, this article explores the impacts of western activist ideals on the subjectivities of queer and trans of colour organizers within Toronto, ON. Framing these ideals in terms of what social movement scholars call “the perfect standard of the activist” ( Bobel 2007 ), I argue that western activist discourses assume an exclusionary logic that prevents queer and trans people of colour from claiming the activist identity. However, instead of focusing on what is lost in this prevention, I consider what is gained. I begin with a review of how the folx I spoke to either refused, rejected, or revised the activist identity and argue that what they have is common is a “monstrous” ( Weheliye 2014 , 125) ability to activate subjectivities that are beyond the perfect standard. I locate this ability within the diametrical realm of “the elsewhere” ( Dryden 2018 , 63), and conclude that, within this realm, one can become, what Yao (2021) calls, disaffected from whitestream politics and thus embrace a praxis of wayward resistance that resembles Quashie’s (2012) notion of the quiet: a sense of resistance that is radically mundane and authentically known.