Being Seen and Being with Others

Abstract I seek to vindicate heteronomous shame: shame that one experiences in response to a judgment from another that one does not accept. I suggest that such experiences are instances of interpersonal shame. This is shame that involves a sensitivity to interpersonal ideals, whose instantiation depends partly on the attitudes of others. I defend the importance of such shame by showing how vulnerability to others is a constitutive part of rich interpersonal relationships. The account both casts light on and vindicates the heteronomous shame that is pervasive among marginalized and oppressed groups. Such shame is not irrational but often involves an accurate apprehension that misrecognition on the part of others has paralyzed their ability to act and degraded an important part of their identity.