“I could have”: The lived experience of bereavement-related regret

Bereavement-related regret addresses the experience of the "I could have" in a grief context surrounding a deceased loved one. This "I could have" notion of regret emerges from interaction of the "I can" of the past and the "I cannot" of the present. This study aimed to understand six participants' lived experiences of bereavement-related regret through a qualitative, semi- structured interview and two-chair exercise. Hermeneutic phenomenological analysis revealed key features of bereavement-related regret as: (a) tangible and sensed embodiment, (b) an active entity that requests engagement, (c) a permanent yet dynamic presence, (d) a complex network connecting to other people, memories, and feelings, and (e) a dialogical phenomenon revealed between interaction of one's present self and past self. This study demonstrates the promise of a novel method for exploring dialogical phenomena and an expansive understanding of regret as an inherently relational, dynamic invitation to attend to and express our values.