The Experiences of Intimacy, Commitment and Passion Throughout Life: A Qualitative Study of Older Gay and Bisexual Men

Abstract Romantic relationships during aging can have diverse implications for reducing mental health problems, mortality rates, and the prevention and management of chronic diseases in older adults. However, little is known about the relational dynamics of gay and bisexual (GB) older men. The experiences of romantic relationships throughout the life cycle of Portuguese GB older people and their relationship with identity development were evaluated using Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. A total of 23 semi-structured interviews were carried out with older community-dwelling Portuguese GB (60 + years old) using the lifeline, which were later analyzed using thematic analysis. The results suggested that experiences of greater relational maturity in older GB people corresponded to phases of greater identity integrity. These older adults gradually experienced more complex levels of love, starting from more passionate love relationships (confusion/comparison phase) to romantic love relationships (tolerance/acceptance phase) and later companionate love relationships (synthesis phase). These relational changes accompanied broader psychosocial changes in gaining rights and freedoms in Portugal. Older gay and bisexual men are capable of experiencing complex forms of love, just like their heterosexual counterparts. However, they tend to reach these stages later in life due to the significant obstacles imposed by the psychosocial context on the development of their identities.