The E-Meter from a Child’s Perspective

ABSTRACT: This article employs an autoethnographic methodology and psychoanalytic theory to examine a child’s perception of and experience with the E-Meter, an electronic device used by Scientologists to aid in spiritual counseling and course examinations. The author, a former second-generation member of the Church of Scientology, examines her childhood conceptualization of the E-Meter as being omniscient and agentic. This perception, rooted in the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard, frames the E-Meter as an instrument capable of validating or invalidating the author’s spiritual identity and sense of belonging in the group. Drawing on psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott’s theory of True and False Selves, the author explores the relational distribution of agency and the effects of the E-Meter’s abilities. Her analysis reveals that in an effort to maintain the appearance of belonging, her evasion of the E-Meter’s omniscience ultimately resulted in a loss of connection with her self.