When Meaning Making Doesn’t Work: Theological Insights Concerning a Trustworthy Attachment Relationship to Get Through Existential Loneliness

Abstract A sense of existential isolation is a growing problem among many. This paper takes the view that existential isolation can be experienced by anyone and that it arises from a lack of belief validation from one’s (difficult) life experiences. Two lament psalms are studied in detail to provide a first-person account of the confusion and pain of someone suffering existential isolation. The psalmist pours out his pain to his covenant partner (God), and in both psalms it is the established and tested relationship with God that carries him through. Next, the psychological literature concerning existential loneliness (or isolation) is reviewed. In particular, existential loneliness is contrasted to emotional and social loneliness, the former associated not with a lack of interpersonal relationships but rather with a lack of belief or experience validation. Attention is also given to aspects of attachment theory which speak into the context. The experience and speech of the psalmist (particularly in Psalm 88) is then considered in light of the psychological research. Some emphases emerge from the psalms study which add weight and clarity to the psychological argument, particularly that of the importance of a secure attachment figure in the face of deep distress. Moreover, the value of using literature to provide belief validation for those enduring existential isolation becomes clear. Thus, themes emerging from a study of biblical literature (existential isolation and others) have a contribution to make in the area of pastoral psychology.