The good parent: Emerging themes and gender convergence in narrating fertility choices

ABSTRACT Objective This study investigates the themes behind men's and women's ex‐post narratives on fertility intentions and the fertility gap, analyzing reflections shared after fertility‐related events or decisions. Background The lack of children stems from either a deliberate choice or the fertility gap, the discrepancy between intended and realized fertility. We explore the ex‐post explanations behind the choice of not having a child and verify the convergence of themes between genders. Method Thematic qualitative analysis of 86 texts sent to an Italian newspaper by 38 men and 48 women categorized as parents, childless, or childfree explored themes related to fertility intentions and the fertility gap. Results Three main themes emerged: economic uncertainty and inefficient family policies, mistrust of the public health care system and fertility issues, and intensive parenting anxiety. These themes, albeit with some variations, are evident among both women and men, including those who are childfree and those experiencing a fertility gap. Conclusions The ex‐post narratives of individual experiences in our sample tend to converge along gender lines, despite certain specificities. Implications Ex‐post narratives offer crucial insights for research and policy. Themes such as economic stability, enhanced health care, and family support are often overlooked in both research and policy interventions, yet they are considered significant by segments of the population.