A grounded theory of unlearning monogamy: Polyamory and the deconstruction of dominant relational scripts

Practitioners of non-monogamy are queering relationships by challenging the dominant relational script of monogamy. Despite the prevalence and queering potential of non-monogamy, there is limited research that focuses on the ways in which non-monogamous individuals navigate their identities in a world built on heteronormative logics. Guided by symbolic interactionism, the purpose of this grounded theory study was to examine the intrapersonal processes of unlearning monogamy. In-depth interviews were conducted with 29 polyamorous participants, ranging in age from 22 to 43 years. We developed a grounded theory that explains unlearning monogamy as comprised of three cognitive processes ( cultivating an abundance mindset ; challenging rigid relationship categories ; defying linear relationship progression ) and three emotional processes ( facing jealousy ; learning compersion ; accepting transience and impermanence ). We discuss our findings in context of extant literature on romantic relationships, and we theorize our findings using a symbolic interactionist framework. We conclude with a discussion of implications for future research.