‘Read My Lips, Not My Body’: A Thematic Analysis of Autistic People's Social Communication Preferences, Experiences, and Expectations

Differences in socialising and communicating between autistic and non-autistic people are well documented, but primarily from the perspective of non-autistic researchers assuming an autistic social communicative deficit. However, recent challenges suggest it may be more accurate to talk about an autistic social communication ‘style’. This qualitative study attempts to better characterise this style and to understand how differences between it and a non-autistic communicative style might produce social conflict and communicative misunderstanding. Eight autistic adults (seven women, one nonbinary) took part in an online asynchronous focus group over two weeks. They were asked about their social values, their experiences talking to non-autistic people, positive social interactions, and encouraged to comment and feedback on the contributions of others in the group. Thematic analysis produced five themes: ‘always be truthful’; invisible demands and their impacts; ‘I don’t think neurotypical people do the same for us’; autistic strengths, autistic positives; and the role of the autistic community. These findings highlight the ways in which autistic people's different experiences of (and expectations for) social communication can clash with non-autistic people's, producing disjunctions in understanding, and emphasise the nuance and complexity of participants’ conceptualisations of autism as difference versus deficit versus strength. Lay Abstract This study explores how autistic people communicate differently from non-autistic people, and how these differences can lead to misunderstandings. Research has often assumed that autistic people have communication difficulties, but more recent research has emphasised how differences between autistic and non-autistic people might lead to mutual misunderstandings. This study wanted to explore autistic people's experience of these misunderstandings and their perspectives on interacting with autistic and non-autistic people. Eight autistic adults (seven women, one nonbinary) participated in an online discussion over two weeks, sharing their views on and experiences of social interactions and experiences. The researchers identified five main themes from the discussion: the importance of honesty for autistic people; the hidden pressures autistic people face; how non-autistic people may not always understand and accommodate autistic people; the strengths and positives of being autistic; and the complicated role that autistic community plays for autistic people. These findings show that autistic people have different social expectations, which can sometimes lead to confusion or conflict with the expectations of non-autistic people. The study underscores that autistic communication should be seen as its own style of social interaction, with its own strengths and weaknesses, rather than a ‘deficient’ version of non-autistic communication.