Golden Plates Ode

Were they fake news? Etchedon tin? Did the boy prophetreally find them sequesteredunder a rock where the pageantis held? We only had to waitless than two thousand yearsfor the show to go on!, rightsmack dab in the heartof the Burnt-Out Districtwhere a treasure-digging teenunearthed a record no onecould decipher without the aidof jewels in a breast plate(such spectacles!) all takenup to Heaven when the jobwas done. How this becamethe cornerstone of my faithis anyone's guess now takingroot. Why the redundancyof Three Witnesses followedby Eight, plates which had“the appearance of gold”which “we did handle withour hands; and we also sawthe engravings thereon, allof which had the appearanceof ancient work, and a curiousworkmanship.” Divinityembalmed in hearsay, thiswas the start of many questionsI asked the Institute Directorat UCLA, our building housednext to the Tri-Delt Trinityout there still on sorority row.