A boost to relational value: Examining the link between partner expressions of gratitude and self-esteem in close relationships

Expressions of gratitude are associated with many benefits in the context of social relationships. Indeed, Algoe’s (2012) find-remind-and-bind theory of gratitude proposes that expressions of gratitude serve the innately relational function of finding and drawing people closer to responsive relationship partners. Despite this prior work demonstrating the importance of gratitude to relationships, no prior research or theory has considered how a partner’s expressions of gratitude may influence the self. Based on sociometer theory (Leary, 1999, 2021), we hypothesized that partner expressions of gratitude signal relational value, thereby predicting enhanced self-esteem for the target of gratitude expressions. To test this novel proposition, we drew upon two archival studies. Study 1 used 11 years of longitudinal data in which 4,990 individuals ( k = 33,846) in committed relationships reported on their partner’s expression of gratitude and their self-esteem at yearly intervals. In Study 2, undergraduate students ( N = 119 people and k = 891) completed a 10-day diary survey in which they reported on a romantic partner or close other’s gratitude expression, their self-esteem, and their feelings of relational value. In both studies, greater partner expressions of gratitude were associated with greater self-esteem at the within- and between-person levels, even controlling for prior wave levels of self-esteem. Moreover, in Study 2, greater perceived relational value mediated the association between greater daily partner expressions of gratitude and greater daily self-esteem. These results provide initial evidence that gratitude expressions not only function to guide people to more meaningful relationships, but are also associated with enhanced relational value, and therefore greater self-esteem.