Disrupting the self: self-identity, discomfort and (un)becoming through the research process

There is significant academic interest in the impacts of research upon the researcher. Discussions have ranged from how shifting power geometries of research encounters can instil discomfort for the researcher to the prolonged effects our fieldwork and subsequent analysis can bring to bear. Such issues incorporate the need for effective self-care to manage the impacts of sensitive, challenging, or distressing research experiences. Whilst this literature is a welcome intervention, focus tends towards external stimuli: moments, topics, or interactions that instigate feelings of discomfort. Comparatively, literature deliberating the far more intimate modes of disruption to a sense of self that research can engender is more limited. In response, this paper presents reflexive accounts of how self-identity can be disrupted and provides some critical reflexive questions that PhD researchers may contemplate throughout their research to help alleviate some of the emotional labour discomfort may entail.