Abused Women as ‘Alienating’ Mothers and Violent Men as ‘Good’ Fathers: Double Standards in Child Protection and Child Custody Proceedings

ABSTRACT Drawing upon multiple case studies, this article examines how parenting double standards are reproduced in situations where women who have experienced domestic violence have been seen as ‘alienating’ mothers, while the men who have perpetrated the violence have been seem as ‘good’ or ‘good enough’ fathers. In total, 25 cases studies were conducted with women who had experienced domestic violence, had at least one child and had been perceived by at least one professional as ‘engaging in parental alienation’ at some point within the previous 5 years. Each case study involved at least one semi‐structured interview with the woman and the analysis of relevant documents, including family evaluation reports, child protection reports and court decisions. These double standards were identified when the mothers' and the fathers' behaviours and circumstances had been measured or evaluated using a different set of principles. The research findings reveal different main manifestations of parenting double standards, which relate to the parents' credibility and the parents' past and personal histories. Moreover, the fact that the parents talk to the children about the other parent is perceived differently when mothers and fathers are doing it. Professionals also reproduce double standards when they minimize and the justify the parents' ‘inappropriate’ behaviours and when they consider the parents' help‐seeking strategies.