Deconstructing ‘Rough Sex’ in a New Zealand Murder Trial: Beyond the Modern Mythology of Everyday Kink

I analyse the way ‘rough sex’, including ‘choking’, was normalised during the 2019 trial of Jesse Kempson for the murder of Grace Millane – and portrayed as a modern form of mutual and egalitarian sexual exploration, particularly for young people. While the so-called ‘rough sex defence’ has been widely critiqued for the way it operates in the criminal justice system to minimise violence against women and blame victims for their own murder or assault, I focus here on the wider social implications of such legal arguments. I identify how the trial was infused with a ‘modern mythology of everyday kink’ discourse, which I critically deconstruct through the lens of three women's stories about unwanted or unenjoyed ‘rough sex’. I show that this discourse obscures and enables concerning new patterns of hurtful, exploitative and violent acts against women and girls that are becoming normalised and legitimated in the name of (rough) sex.