An Aesthete Thinks About Herself for Too Long

This is an auto-theoretical essay on the importance of aesthetics and its nuances concerning identity. Autotheory is a literary practice in which the author presents a theory and uses autobiographical evidence to support it. There is a disregard for aesthetics on a societal level. Aesthetics are defined in this essay as personal tastes that are core to a person’s identity, whether that identity is true to the subject or what they feel they should aspire to be. When thinking about aesthetics, there is a common belief that aesthetics are a superficial aspect of one’s identity. While aesthetics is mostly visually based, this essay argues that aesthetics evoke deeper meaning based on the already established identity of the subject. Through the dissection of identities and their nuances, this essay discusses how aesthetics play a deeper role in identity and community building. This essay also breaks down certain connotations of aesthetics, especially concerning femininity and Blackness. There is a notion that women should care about how they look because they are expected to present ‘acceptably.’ If aesthetics concerns how subjects present themselves, this essay argues that there is a negative view of aesthetics due to its association with femininity. When analyzing femininity through the context of Blackness, aesthetics are now something that a Black female subject should aspire to, whether she wants to or not. This essay argues that the intersectionality of Blackness and femininity means that certain aesthetics can be imposed onto others. Aesthetics are integral to how subjects want to or feel they should express themselves. It is worth discussing because it can show how or why certain aesthetics are adopted or rejected. This essay also notes that an acknowledgment of one’s aesthetic can allow for a deeper understanding and appreciation of the subject’s self. Due to the unconventional nature of auto theory, this essay does not follow traditional essay rules in terms of format, voice, and language.