“Baby it’s Cold Online”: A Qualitative Investigation About What is and is not Appropriate to do on social media in Romantic Relationships

The use of social media in relationships can be beneficial or detrimental for relationship quality depending on the behavior. Although posting photos and sharing one’s relationship status on social media can be beneficial, oversharing information or posting inappropriate content on social media can be bad for relationships. However, these studies have relied on empirical data, without defining what inappropriate or excessive content is. The goal of this study is to understand emerging adults’ perceptions of acceptable and unacceptable social media behavior in a romantic relationship. This qualitative study applied a critical realist epistemological design, recruiting participants between 18-29 who had used social media in their current or previous romantic relationship. Participants in this study participated in one-one-one interviews (N = 41) or one of four focus groups (N = 20), answering questions about what is and is not appropriate social media behavior in romantic relationships. Data was analyzed using coding reliability thematic analysis. Results showed that it is acceptable to post life updates, meaningful relationship events, and partner-approved content. Inappropriate behaviors included posting relationship issues, posting relationships too often, posting provocative pictures, and posting with an ex-partner or rival. It was also suggested that individuals should not post too frequently, overshare relationship information, or post public displays of affection. This study confirms that there are specific online behaviors that could support or disrupt the development and maintenance of romantic relationships. Additional implications for romantic relationships will be discussed.