Learning to Lament

The practice of lamenting is one of expressing grief and sorrow; lament is distinctly Christian. Lamenting draws our attention from ourselves and toward God who wants to embrace us in our sorrow (Vroegop, 2019). Lament is a personal prayer that conveys to God our authentic feelings of grief and sorrow. Consider the medical charting acronym SOAP in a new way: Lament calls us to speak to God; to be open to expressing our innermost feelings and thoughts; to ask boldly for what we think we need by praying; and to believe God's promises. Our sorrows may range from the minor, like not doing well on a quiz, to a big sorrow, such as having a parent diagnosed with cancer. Speaking to God, being open and honest with him and ourselves, asking for what we think we need, and praying his promises back to him require leaning into God's promises and having hope not in ourselves but in him. Lament is found throughout the Bible, but especially in the book of Psalms. More than one-third of the psalms are laments (Vroegop, 2019). That should get our attention! God is serious about helping us express our pain and find our way to hope! In his book, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament, Mark Vroegop (2019) writes, “Think of lament as the transition between pain and promise” (p. 28). LAMENT'S VALUE IN NURSING Nurses experience their own grief as well as that of others. Lick (2012) pointed out the need for nurses to personally grieve so they can accompany others in their grief. Student nurses see grief in many forms: facing limitations in providing care, seeing families experiencing the loss of a loved one, or caring for a patient facing a terminal diagnosis. Nursing is not a solo endeavor, and neither is grief. Grief is not linear nor distinct in its phases. Like the care of each patient, grief is unique for each person. Lamenting as a Christian student and future nurse is important for personal hope and for transferring hope to patients and families. As we rest in God's mercy and his plan for us, he helps us clear our minds so we can be present in the lives of our patients. HOW TO LAMENT In Psalm 13, King David is lamenting. The psalm begins with David going to God, complaining to God by being vulnerable, and being authentic with how he feels and thinks. In verses one and two, David begins his complaints: “How long, O LORD, will you forget me?...How long will you hide your face from me?” This kind of conversation directed toward God can be difficult as we do not like to feel vulnerable and show God our true thoughts or feelings. Next, David is calling out to God, asking boldly, and submitting to God's will. In verses three and four, David asks God to answer him by giving his eyes light (i.e., understanding). As Christians, we struggle to leave our lives completely in the hands of God; lamenting allows us to practice this, and to ask God to fulfill our plans within his will. David continues his lament by stating what he knows to be true of God. In verses five and six, David trusts God's unfailing love and praises him. When you know that God is with you, loves you, and is growing your faith to know him more fully, you will feel more comfortable turning to God in times of sorrow and grief. God wants to hear from you, always! Lament is about going to God with our small and great sorrows. He knows our hearts and minds completely, and he wants us to be authentic and ask boldly for our desires and needs. Knowing God's Word and experiencing who God is allows us to experience his promises. Lamenting gives us a process to help revive hope for ourselves and others when we enter the dark places of life.